Seven keys to a lifelong love for Doctor James Dobson
Three of every 10 couples living in Peru, according to Gestalt Institute of Lima
Manuel Saravia, director of the IGL. Photo: IGL.
* Lima, February. 10 (ANDINA) .- In Peru, three in 10 couples choose cohabitation instead of marriage, thereby decreasing between 5 and 10% the number of marital unions that occur each year, the Gestalt Institute of Lima (IGL) with the approach of Valentine's Day.
Psychotherapist Manuel Saravia Oliver, director of that institution specializing in couples and family therapy, said that cohabitation is more common in the professional class because in these cases the partners are more interested in personal development and seek independence from the family without going through marriage.
influential factors have some resistance to marriage include children with divorced parents, the source of conflict or households single mothers and the mistaken idea that the conjugal union prevents individual development, said the specialist.
"As an argument for living together, many couples report that they need a document or paper to give formality to their relationship, but the psychological is the fear of commitment and doubts about some aspects of the couple" he said.
Nevertheless, 70% of Peruvian couples and married lives ended commitment, believing that a relationship that has passed the altar or civil records fails to be formal.
While the idea of \u200b\u200bliving does not distinguish age or gender, there is greater social pressure on women to the idea of \u200b\u200bgetting married and the natural process of having children, while for men there is more social tolerance level, criticized the psychotherapist.
"Even some women begin to despair, if they meet the 35 years without being married. Many women have one of their goals in life, married, white dress and walk down the aisle. If you have not fulfilled that dream will become frustrated, "he argued Saravia.
Another reason that couples prefer to live together and not marrying is, to a lesser extent, the rebellious character of the cohabitants, who feel satisfaction when they go against the "social rules already established."
For the specialist, is a myth to think that marriage should be 100% sure, as many marriages do not work, despite being considered and planned years in advance, so they said that any relationship is more important marital love. Tips
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In that sense, Saravia recommended that couples go through difficult times daily guide the discussion toward the behavior you deem objectionable and not to the person.
must learn to take the place of another and to read the intentions behind the behavior, if things do not say openly within the relationship.
must understand the fears of the couple, as well as its shortcomings and, above all, we must be aware that the beloved is not only virtues, but flaws like all human beings.
Couples must learn to distribute the time dedicated to the relationship, family, friends and book a single moment is also important to himself.
As the pair consolidates, members must make decisions very common and can appear in this family-type issues, professional and labor.
Parents can give their opinion on a particular issue, but the couple must make their own decisions independently.
The issue of sharing also must be considered in all respects. From sharing the sorrows, achievements, and even crises and problems, but without forgetting the individuality and autonomy.
Communication is very important and often one of the first things to fail, which is why if you keep good communication with your partner everything will be much easier.
"Every relationship needs a dose of romance and signs of mutual affection. That's not to be missed. Nor has the respect and love, "the specialist.
(END) MVF / RRC
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