To build the bridge two-way communication is needed:
1. Be available. Children need to feel that their parents are affordable for them. This means being willing to make time for your child. Although they are 10 minutes of communication with each of her children alone strengthens the bridge of communication. Be available
means also 'tune' quickly and calmly to listen to your child or talk about something important. Being able to understand and talk about their own feelings and those of his son, is another important part of being affordable.
2. Listening:
Help your child to feel loved even when angry and you can not do anything to fix the problem. Ask your child for his ideas and feelings before you start talking about themselves. Also try to understand exactly what you are saying. What is telling is important to him, although it is not for you. No need to agree with what you are saying but listening helps to calm him down and he can hear you later.
3. Show empathy.
This means 'tune' with the child and let him know that you care about your feelings. You can show empathy but do not agree with him. Empathy relates to take into account the feelings, not who is right or wrong. Demonstrate empathy means finding out if you understand what your child feels.
4. Being a good 'messenger'. First would be a good 'listening'. If the child feels heard and heeded will be more willing to listen. Make sure you say, your tone of voice and what you do send the same message. For example, if you laugh when you say No! confuse your child and not know what you really want.
5. Use words to communicate to your child what you want him to do.
Even when he is marking the boundaries of a small child can use words as the subject. Use kind words when approving the child's behavior. For example, you can say 'I'm so happy' when your child puts toys. It is helpful to use the 'you' and highlight the good behavior (for example: 'You did your job well "). Help yourself to appreciate. Self-esteem helps children cope with bad times. Use phrases such as 'I' or 'me' to tell your child what to UD. dislikes about their behavior. For example: "When I found you, I went to bed worried and angry 'rather than speak loudly or in an angry tone,' disappeared! Where were you? " Tell your child what you feel and think. Do not tell him what he (she) should feel 0 thinking.
6. Be a good role model.
Young children learn best by copying what their parents do what they are told. Children will copy your form of communication. If UD. it uses many words to feelings, will help your child to do the same. When parents express feelings instead of shouting, or hurt, or putting a name, children learn that words are a better means of dealing with strong feelings. Expressing feelings rather than acting helps children to be controlled. You can help your child learn what words are appropriate in the home and at school.
The other side of healthy communication: verbal abuse.
Children usually replenished quickly when injured. For example, cry when he falls and scrapes his knee, but after 10 minutes running and will be forgotten. The same can happen if someone at school puts a name. If this happens once, it's likely to forget it. Sin embargo, si su niño sufre el mismo tipo de agresión una y otra vez no se recuperará rápidamente. Los niños que sufren abuso verbal están profundamente heridos por lo que sus padres dicen y cómo lo dicen.
¿Qué es abuso verbal? Hay tres clases de abuso verbal:
1. Poner un apodo, crítica frecuente, culpar.
Criticarlo es decirle frases con 'tú' y poniéndole nombres como por ejemplo decirle 'Tú eres un estúpido'; esto es crítica y ponerle un nombre; en cambio no lo es e] decirle: 'Estoy disgustada contigo y quiero que dejes de hacer eso'. La crítica, ponerle nombres y 'echarle la culpa' sólo ultimately makes things worse.
2. Violate the limits of the child, yelling and scaring to punish or abandon it and lie. Sometimes strong emotions of their parents are too much for the child can handle. Children build walls between themselves and their parents when this happens. Children who are started, they hide or cover their ears with their hands often are trying to guard against such strong emotions. They are generally not trying to be disrespectful.
Children are not small adults. Can not be closed to the cries and screams as do adults. The loud talking or yelling in front of children makes them feel scared and very insecure. Hurts emotions such as physical abuse hurts their bodies and emotions. The screaming and loud talking are even more hurtful when your child is tired, sick, hungry or afraid of something. The smaller worse.
Children believe in the threats of punishment or abandonment. The threats frighten children more than you can imagine and do not help the best performance.
The lie also violates the limits of their child. The children will believe the lies because they do not have enough information to distinguish between lies and truth.
3. Silence. Children resent long silences (hours or days). Do not know what these silences mean and 'read' horrible things in the silence of their parents.
Silence sends a powerful message of anger or disgust. It does feel confused and helpless. If you're quiet because you are depressed it is best to tell the child that you are sad or sick and that he is not the cause. When you are silent is not a good messenger.
The silence of the parents can be:
- Being afraid to say something to make things worse.
- Do not know what to say or do.
- have such feelings, anger or sadness that can not speak.
- Being sick.
- Its own silence parents used to control them.
verbal abuse from parents is produced by: - never learned healthy communication.
- Do not know other ways to control the behavior of their children. - do not know that hurt children verbal abuse and that this makes things worse.
- have not learned to manage their own feelings.
- are under great stress.
- think their children should develop 'leather hard' to survive.
- were treated in the same way by their parents, teachers and other adults.
to prevent verbal abuse, know how to handle stress and anger
Parenting is hard work. There are times when you feel so much stress that you can not think more. In those moments, the cries of the baby, a tantrum of] child or school that refuses to do homework can push one to the limit. It is important to find ways to encourage your child to behave, they do not hurt their feelings. It is also important to prevent stress and find calm when you are stressed, so as not to do or say something harmful to the child.
These are things you can do to calm down:
- Breathe deeply several times.
- Wait 5 minutes before talking to your child.
- Try find the right word to his feelings. Tell or write itself.
- Share your feelings with your spouse (a) or another adult. Call a friend.
- Keep your eye on this. Do not add the above problems.
Parents are under great stress may have trouble controlling feelings like anger, fear, frustration, failure. Will not realize that his anger is a reaction to be worried, confused, hurt or overwhelmed by stress. For example, you worry if your child was lost in the supermarket, if you were in a hurry, you can get angry when you find it and yell instead of saying 'I was worried about can not find '
. When you can learn to calm down and understand what really makes you angry you can avoid hurting your child with your anger.
Some people find that the method of 'rethink' helps you control your anger before doing or saying something that might repent. Rethink:
- Acknowledge your feelings.
- Empathize with the other person.
- Think about the situation differently. Use humor.
- Listen to what the other person says.
- Integrate your love of annoying thoughts.
- Observe the reactions of his body by feelings of anger and calm down.
- Keep your eye on the present problem.
- Using the 'rethink' can help you control your anger before you punish your child.
If these or other methods are not calm, try talking to her husband (a), pediatrician, counselor, pastor, relative or close friend. There is nothing to be ashamed to admit you need help controlling their anger. All parents feel angry and frustrated with their children. Asking for help is always better than losing control.
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- Manage your own frustration and stress. 
Many husbands and wives are in marriages where they feel satisfied, happy or made. They spend their time criticizing and finding faults spouse of your partner. This type of person lives believing that if only your partner changed everything would go better in marriage. 
